It’s normally your mind, not your training, which causes you to fail. You can be training well, but your perception of how you’re doing is skewed.
As a result, you quit again. One of the main things I teach my clients is: Mindset.
I help them understand what long-term compliance actually looks like.
I teach them about self-compassion and managing their expectations which allows them to build a long-term training practice: The Bulletproof Mindset.
Incorporate a Bulletproof Mindset into your daily routine for lasting personal growth
If you find you keep ruining your own progress, these points will help you.
- Growth and fixed mindset
- The 20-hour rule
- Don’t miss twice
- Just step on the mat
- The rule of five
- Embrace the suck
Your body can stand almost anything. It’s your mind that you have to convince.
– Andrew Murphy
Growth and fixed mindset
The first place I start with clients is to teach them about having a growth mindset. This teaching comes from Dr. Carol Dweck’s book “Mindset”. In her book, she categorizes people as having either a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.
If you’re engaged in Bulletproof Mindset, you understand the importance of cultivating a growth mindset. With a Proper Mindset Training, you’ll develop the belief that improvement in any activity is attainable through consistent practice and dedication, making you more likely to commit to training, knowing it’s the path to a better outcome.
I teach my clients to become more “Growth mindset” orientated. They’ll realise that every practice session leads them to improve in the long term.
The second thing I teach my clients is the “20-hour rule”. This idea comes from Josh Kaufman.
He explains that it takes about 20 hours to become proficient at any activity. There’s another philosophy that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert. Josh Kaufman argues that it only takes about 20 hours to reach a level of competence. I like to use the example of meditation.
Many individuals understand the benefits of meditation, but they struggle to establish a consistent practice. By examining it from the perspective of “Bulletproof Mindset” and the 20-hour rule, they’d recognize that they aren’t achieving the required volume.
When I first started meditating, I was only practicing for 5-10 minutes several times a week. After a few months, I felt like I was getting nowhere. The fact is, I wasn’t practicing for long enough.
Let’s calculate it: 5-10 minutes x 3-4 times a week = approximately 30 minutes a week. That’s only 2 hours a month!
I’d need to stick at it for 10 months to hit 20 hours!
A similar thing happened to me earlier this year when trying to learn Spanish. I was attending a 45 minute class with a teacher once a week. After 8 weeks, I dropped off and stopped the classes.
On reflection, I hadn’t even completed 8 hours of tutoring. I restarted and signed up for 3 classes a week, knowing I would hit the 20-hour mark over the next 8 weeks.
By incorporating Bulletproof Mindset into my coaching approach, it aids in guiding my clients to manage their expectations when they perceive slow results. It’s common to feel frustrated and think, ‘It’s been months, and I’m not making progress.’ However, when you tally the cumulative training time, you may find that it’s essential to boost your training intensity. This principle also extends to cultivating new habits and honing your skills over time.
Don’t miss twice
“Don’t miss twice” is a tip that originates from James Clear. It works particularly well with regards to nutrition.
There are many times when I notice that a client is doing really well with their diet. Perhaps they have eliminated one the following:
• Refined sugar • Alcohol
They stick to this every single day religiously. However, if they miss one day, they feel like they’ve failed miserably. This results in a binge and completely throwing the new behavior out the window.
The problem wasn’t that they missed out on one day of routine. The problem was their resultant feeling of failure and the knock-on effect. One day of a mess up turned into months of mess-ups.
“Don’t miss twice” fixes a lot of these patterns. You missed a day? Just get back on the wagon the following day!
“Don’t miss twice” also helps you to stop expecting to have long streaks. Streaks are commonly referred to on nutrition and fitness apps. It means that you set yourself a goal each day and you keep practicing it so you don’t break the streak. It can be a helpful tool, but remember, if you miss one day, you’re still in the top 85th percentile.
Just step on the mat
“Just step on the mat” is something Ryan Hurst from GMB Fitness always says and I love it. When resistance is high, when you feel like skipping a day, when you feel tired, it seems as though a 60-minute workout is impossible. However, if you tell yourself: “Just step on the mat,” it helps to overcome that resistance and to build a Bulletproof Mindset.
Once you start, you might do just a few minutes of prep. At the end of prep, check in again. If resistance is still high, you might call it a day.
However, most of the time, you’ll feel better once you’ve started and you’ll end up doing a full session.
The Rule of 5
“The rule of 5” originates from Dan John, a true legend in the fitness industry. He states that out of 5 workouts:
- one will feel good
- one will feel difficult
- three will feel neutral
Knowing this rule helps to manage your expectations. If only 20% of your workouts feel good, then you’re probably on track with your training.
Clients sometimes feel that they must be doing something wrong if they don’t feel awesome about their workouts or if they’re not excited to train.
The rule of five is really powerful to help them realise that if 20% of workouts feel good, 60% feel neutral and 20% feel difficult, they’re actually on track.
Embrace the suck
This mindset tip is also from GMB fitness:
Inspiration is best served with a side of realism. The path to greatness starts with sucking and spending an awful lot of time in mediocrity. You have to allow yourself to suck if you ever want to get great.
In other words, if you’re practicing something you’ve never done before, you’re not going to be good at it. You’re actually going to suck.
The good news is: everyone goes through this.
I’d like to link this in with the 20-hour rule. If you’re willing to suck at something new for 20 hours, you’ll get past that initial discomfort.
Prior to the 20 hour mark, this would be the point when most people quit.
You try something a few times and it feels awful, so you quit.
I get it, I do it all the time.
Learning Spanish is extremely difficult for me. I suck at it. However, I suck less now than I did a few months ago.
Eventually, I won’t suck at all. I’ll actually sound pretty fluent.
The same applies for handstands, juggling, improving hip mobility, changing nutritional habits and planning your week. Look at everything as a skill that you can improve.
Embrace sucking at it in the beginning. Once you lower your expectations, you’ll give yourself the space to progress.
The final step that ties all of this together creating a Bulletproof Mindset is self-compassion.
When I mess up or when I’m not good at something, I can become my own worst enemy. My inner critic shows up just to let me know how worthless I am.
When I first heard about self-compassion and self- love, it sounded a bit esoteric and fluffy to me. I didn’t really resonate with it at all. That was until I read Dr Kristin Neffs’ work.
She breaks it down into three parts:
- Self-kindness versus self-judgement
- Common humanity versus isolation
- Mindfulness versus over-identification
Self-kindness versus self-judgement
Imagine you’ve encountered a setback in your diet during your journey of Bulletproof Mindset. Instead of self-judgment and criticism, engage in self-talk as you would with your best friend.
Instead of ridiculing yourself, adopt a more compassionate approach and reassure yourself that it’s just one day.
Your commitment to a proper Mindset Training has been consistent the rest of the time, so grant yourself a well-deserved break.
Common humanity versus isolation
When I mess up, it can feel like I’m the only person in the world who makes mistakes. Common humanity shows me that the feelings I’m experiencing are also being experienced by thousands, (if not millions), of people right now. Instead of feeling isolated in my struggles, I can remember that this is a common emotion millions of others have experienced.
Mindfulness versus over-identification
When you over-identify with something, you have a belief that it’s just part of your character and there’s nothing you can do about it. Here’s an example: Let’s say you order fast food and drink too much alcohol every Friday. You over-identify with this and say: “I can’t help myself. I do it every week. I’ve no self-control.”
Having a more mindful approach to this would be to tell yourself:
“Every Friday I get strong cravings to eat fast food and drink alcohol. I also feel really anxious, tired and overwhelmed because I’ve had such a busy week at work. Maybe if I give myself more time to relax during the week, I won’t feel as wound up when it comes to Friday. I won’t feel the need to overindulge.”
Mindfulness shifts the power back to you. It gives you the ability to figure out why things are happening and awareness to change them.
It helps you to take more ownership about making changes in your life.
You can apply a growth mindset instead of giving in and believing there’s nothing you can do. Over-identification is similar to having a fixed mindset.
Bulletproof Mindset: Empowering Growth in Training and Life
- Incorporating a “Growth Mindset” to build a “Bulletproof Mindset” into your sessions you will excel in your training, extending the principles of growth and resilience to all aspects of life.
- The “20-hour rule” emphasizes that competence can be achieved through 20 hours of focused practice.
- “Don’t miss twice” encourages clients not to let setbacks deter their progress.
- “Just step on the mat” simplifies the process of initiating a training session.
- The “Rule of 5” normalizes the fact that not every workout feels extraordinary, but that’s part of the process.
- “Embrace the suck” highlights the importance of enduring discomfort and initial struggles in skill development.
- “Self-compassion” promotes self-kindness and mindfulness, allowing individuals to take ownership of their growth journey and make lasting changes.
Incorporating these principles not only enhances training but also fosters personal growth and resilience in various aspects of life building a perfect Bulletproof Mindset.